The Confidence to Live Authentically
Let's be flawed and fearless together
Gary’s Thoughts
captures exactly what gets in the way of feeling confident about ourselves. As she say’s in this great Post":“Self-acceptance is one of the cornerstones of confidence. When we begin to accept ourselves fully—including our quirks, habits, and so-called flaws—we stop trying to prove our worth, and start living it.
We begin to see our imperfections not as obstacles, but as teachers.
We come to realise: this is who I am.”
I have lived all my life with an internal battle between ultra external confidence and internal self-destruction. Sue has reinforced many of the things i’ve learned along the way.
Sue, the floor is yours…
This post originally appeared on
’s Substack, Confidence Matters
The Confidence to Live Authentically
Let's be flawed and fearless together
By Sue Reid
Have you ever silenced yourself in front of people, not because you had nothing to say, but because you were afraid of being seen as not good enough?
When I was younger, I was shy and introverted—but it wasn’t just that. I was terrified that if I spoke up, I’d say something that gave away what I truly believed: that I wasn’t clever enough.
I constantly compared myself to my younger sister. She was brilliant—always getting top grades—while I struggled. I saw that as proof of my inadequacy. That belief stuck, and when combined with my sensitive, quiet nature, it made social situations feel totally overwhelming.
As I got older, I wanted to fit in. I thought I should go to parties like everyone else. But the truth? I hated them. I didn’t feel like I belonged. Alcohol made them bearable. It dulled the anxiety and masked the parts of me I didn’t want anyone to see.
Here’s something you may not guess about me: I’ve never been to a hen party. They are my idea of hell. I’ve been invited to many, but I’ve always found a reason not to go. Even for my first marriage, I only attended because my friends organised it, and I hated every minute of it.
That old belief—that I wasn’t clever enough—has followed me for much of my life. For years, I saw it as a flaw I had to hide. Because when you are not clever, you are not interesting either. Why would anyone want to talk to someone like me? That was my belief, strange as it seems now.
No one ever told me that I was okay as I am, with nothing to hide and nothing to prove.
We’re Conditioned to Be Perfect
We know that the images we see on social media and in magazines aren’t reality. They’re highlights, enhanced and edited to create the illusion of flawlessness. And even though we know that, we still end up feeling not good enough.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that worthiness looks a certain way—airbrushed, filtered, curated.
And so, our inner critic goes to work.
It tells us we’re not smart enough, not slim enough, not loud or bold or brave enough.
We compare ourselves to others—whether it’s talent shows, award ceremonies, or Instagram reels—and end up feeling inadequate.
But when you meet the “beautiful and successful” in real life, you realise something: they’re human, just like you. They’re highlighting the best parts of themselves, but behind the scenes, they have flaws, struggles, and doubts too.
Self-Acceptance Builds True Confidence
Self-acceptance is one of the cornerstones of confidence. When we begin to accept ourselves fully—including our quirks, habits, and so-called flaws—we stop trying to prove our worth, and start living it.
We begin to see our imperfections not as obstacles, but as teachers.
We come to realise: this is who I am.
And in that self-awareness, we find power.
When we embrace who we are—flaws and all—we create space to shine. And that inner light? It’s far more beautiful than any filter.
Embracing Imperfection with Compassion
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean we give up on growth. It means we explore our imperfections with kindness and curiosity—not shame.
Ask yourself:
Is this something I want to lovingly accept?
Or is it something I’m ready to evolve?
For example, one of my own challenges is patience. It’s something I’m actively working on.
Because I struggle with it, I tend to:
Start new projects before finishing the one I’m working on.
Buy things on impulse that sit unused or unworn.
Lose patience with people, and sometimes sound abrupt.
But here’s what I’m doing now:
I break my projects into steps and celebrate each one.
I bank new ideas instead of jumping straight in.
I pause for 24 hours before making a purchase and ask myself: Does this improve my life?
I wait before speaking. I try to listen first.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress—driven by compassion.
Living authentically
Being vulnerable is hard. It can feel risky.
Reflection
Let’s explore this together with compassion, not criticism:
What do you see as an imperfection in yourself?
Where did that belief come from?
Is it still serving you?
Is it a trait you want to lovingly accept—or gently evolve?
And finally…
If you need help or have questions, I am here for you.
Do you find yourself struggling to speak in work meetings or social events?
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Thank you so much for highlighting my post with your valuable thoughts Gary 💕