Demons to Champions - How I fell in love with my neurodivergent maverick mind - Chapter 15

Never aspire to mediocrity

If you want to read the Introduction and Chapter 1 go here -

If you want to read Chapter 14 go here -

Never aspire to mediocrity.

Minds, like our personalities, aren’t painted in black and white and paradoxes abound. Crowded social situations make me uneasy, yet I love public speaking. When speaking in public, I’m in control. Talking about things I’m excited by. I’ve practiced the script a hundred times in my head and know exactly what I’m going to say. I have knowledge that the audience is hoping to receive. I’m focussed and my thoughts flow. My Demons have had their say already and are quiet; a hundred hours invested in making it look spontaneous.

Social events like big parties are different. I can’t prepare for them. There’s no script. Every encounter with people is unpredictable, requiring me to catch onto their verbal cues and expressions. Clarity is the problem; it takes a while before I work out what I need to say.

It’s one thing enjoying public speaking. It’s quite another being any good at it. I’ve always wanted to be the best I can be at everything I try. Early on in my academic career, I learnt a salutary lesson as a proba- tionary lecturer. At a Staff meeting I was told I’d be teaching ‘Glycolysis, The Kreb’s Cycle and Oxidative Phosphorylation’. Intracellular molecular pathways cells use to convert food to usable energy. From the looks on the faces of my colleagues, and my predecessor’s sigh of relief, I should’ve smelled a rat! I was to learn that this was what Biochemists call the ‘graveyard shift’. For the integrity of the course, it must be taught, but it’s also the subject every medical student loathes.

I had five lectures to give over two weeks. It can be a mind-numbing experience for teachers and students alike. I’d prepared well and was in command of the subject. My Achilles Heel? I’d no idea how to teach!